Thursday, February 17, 2011

French Toast

It will definitely be a while until the book is released now. I made a tactical error in thinking my local publisher/printer would be making my book. It turns out, they don’t want to because “they don’t do cookbooks”. Really, you want to print books by local authors with a local interest, but you still want to put restrictions on what kind of book it is.
So, now I have to learn all about the publishing industry, which is one of those obtuse, quirky professions not based on logic or common sense. Yeah, that ought to be right up my alley.
Some of these guys will only take submissions by e-mail, some absolutely not by e-mail. Some won’t accept submissions at all, you must have an agent first. Most won’t do a cookbook, only typical fiction type works, but I found a few who do. One is a place run by 2 lovely white haired ladies, I don’t think they will get it.
You find the phrase "enough torque to pull the panties off a nun" offensive?
One place requires a minimum of 200 recipes in a cookbook. Really? Mine has half that, and by the time you do all those, you can cook anything. One place is selling a book that is all about French Toast. An entire book about French Toast. Are you freeking kidding me? Here’s all you need to know about French Toast:
Get a shallow bowl, mix up a couple eggs and a little bit of milk in the bowl. Get some regular white bread, preferably a little older and dried out. Toss it in the bowl, and coat both sides with egg mixture. Throw it in a frying pan with some oil, and cook until done, about 3 minutes per side.
Done, 60 words, why would anyone buy an entire book about French Toast?

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